Truth and Consequences
by Orison
Summary: Just a short fic from Mikey's and Bosco's POV about the events that lead to the season 5 finale.


Truths and Consequences (1/1)

* * *

Author: Stella aka Orison  
  
Disclaimer: Same old, same old... I own nothing, just a couple pics I can't stop looking at...   
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: General knowledge of the series up through season five.  
  
Author's note: Okay, I'm back, even if it's just a short fic. I'm still NOT over Mikey's death and felt I had to write something about it. There's been a lot of post-Monsters fics, but what I wanted to do was explore the last days of his life, try and imagine what he was feeling and stuff like that.  
  
The story switches from Mikey's to Bosco's POV. It starts right after the conversation they had in jail and goes on until the part where Bosco comes back to the place where they found his body so no Donald Mann here. He still doesn't know the man's responsible for his brother's death. I've watched the eps a lot of times but the timeline's still a little confusing so I'm not sure I got it right. I'm just assuming that the day of the wake was the same day the finale aired and went back from there.  
  
This said, I hope you like it. I'm off to enjoy my vacation. :)  
  
Enjoy!

* * *

May 2nd  
  
4:43pm

* * *

I wanna do right.  
  
For once in my life, I'm gonna take the hard road and try to get myself out of this mess. It might not be the smartest thing to do, but it's the only option I've got left.  
  
Maurice was right.  
  
He'd been right the whole time. We all have a choice. And if being a snitch for Cruz is the way to prove him that I'm really changed then that's exactly who I'm gonna be.  
  
I know he's scared something bad might happen. I'm scared too. I tried to play it cool when he asked me if I was okay with it but truth is, I'm not really sure about anything right now. I just know I need to do this.  
  
And that's why I'm striking this deal, even if it means looking over my shoulders for the rest of my life.  
  
I owe it to him.  
  
I owe it to my mother, but most of all I owe it to myself. I'm sick of being a loser.  
  
My life's been nothing but a string of failures, and it's about damn time to change that.  
  
Dad got me this attorney. Lester Martin. He's pretty good, and he promised to get me out of here. Mo doesn't trust him, but then again he rarely trusts anybody. Sergeant Cruz. Dad. Me. Anyone who's ever hurt or betrayed him. He puts up this wall and pretends he doesn't care.  
  
But I know better. I've seen it in his eyes the night I got that six month coin. I thought he'd never show up, but then I saw him standing in the back of the room, a proud expression on his face.  
  
That night, I felt truly happy for the first time in I don't even know how long. My whole family was there. For me. Dinner at Manetti's had never tasted this good, and it had nothing to do with the steak.  
  
Then of course shit had to happen.  
  
I couldn't stay away from the dope, and I agreed to meet Spider at the rave. I even let him drive my car. Then the son of a bitch shoots that cop and suddenly I'm a loser again.  
  
The look my brother gave me at the fort... Man, I think he'd have suffered less if I'd just stabbed him in the back.  
  
I tried to tell him I'd never do something like that. Made up excuses, even tried to blame him but I knew it was me all along.  
  
You know, it's never been easy living in our world. The yelling, the beatings, the crying. You either learned to fight back or run away from it. During all that the only thing that made me always feel better was I knew that no matter what we'd always be together.  
  
Not sure whose fault it was but as we grew up we sort of drifted away. Yes, I felt bad when he left me behind, I felt bad when I realized all those words he'd said were just words but truth is, I was too much of a coward to try and stand on my own.  
  
Those days are over. This time I'm doing right.  
  
These clothes, these shackles I'm wearing, it's not who I am. I need to get out of this place.  
  
I'm gonna be an informant.  
  
And I'm gonna be fine.

* * *

May 2nd  
  
4:43pm

* * *

He wants to do right.  
  
My kid brother wants to be an informant for the police and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. He sat there, looked me in the eyes and swore it was the best thing to do.  
  
A C.I. for Cruz. That's suicide.  
  
I've tried to tell him that it can be dangerous but he wouldn't listen. Stubborn ass. Said that's the only chance we've got to catch these guys and that this great attorney that dad got him is gonna get him out of jail.  
  
Yeah, right. Like dear old dad ever cared about him. Or me, or anyone else for that matter.  
  
I still can't understand why he keeps defending him like that but I'm not gonna be the one who breaks his heart. Hearing about that reward would destroy him, he sure doesn't need to know about it. He's got too much on his mind right now to worry about the son of a bitch.  
  
People don't change, least of all him. What, he thinks he can get us all out to dinner and we'll forget all the shit he's put us through? No way.  
  
I wonder what Ma would say if she knew. That act they put up at the church the other night, like we're the perfect family and all, I hope it was just that, an act, 'cause I really find it hard to believe that a woman who's been abused like she was could ever forget what it's been like and be so comfortable around the man who's turned her life into a living hell.  
  
As much as I hated to see him standing so close to her, that's what Mikey needed so we played along.  
  
Of course it didn't last. He had to go and ruin everything because of that damn dope.  
  
Dade got killed, and we ended up back to the place where we used to run to when we were kids. The fort.  
  
He begged me to believe that he'd never shoot a cop, and I realized I don't even know him anymore. The man standing before me was not the kid I'd tried to protect so many times in the past. I was looking at a complete stranger. That hurt more than a thousand blows.  
  
I found out that he remembered every damn thing I'd said, every promise I'd made to make him feel better as a child, and that he expected me to fulfill them.  
  
Only I didn't.  
  
We grew up. I became a Ranger and left him behind.  
  
Which is why I can't turn my back on him right now.  
  
I'm angry, 'cause things should've never come to this, to the point where he has to decide whether to risk his life or sit behind bars. Mikey should've been strong enough to follow my path and keep himself out of trouble, and I'm mad at him for not being able to do it.  
  
But I'm also scared, cause I've seen enough bad things on the job to know that he's more than likely signed his death warrant with this deal.  
  
Cruz doesn't give a damn about him.  
  
Nobody does. It's up to me to make sure nothing happens to him.  
  
This time, I'm gonna be there for him like I promised at the fort.  
  
I just hope it's not too late.

* * *

May 4th  
  
10:05am

* * *

I'm free.  
  
I'm not sure why or how it happened but here I am, back on the streets of New York, eating the worst hamburger in the world. I can't even begin to describe how good it feels.  
  
All around me, the usual morning traffic: cars honking their horns, cab drivers yelling at each other, men and women crowding the sidewalks. Some people hate it, but not me. Makes me feel alive to be part of it.  
  
I knew this attorney was a smart guy. Apparently, Mo didn't read me my rights when he took me in, and that's why I got to get out. I have no idea what that means but I don't think he did something wrong. I mean, he wasn't there as a cop but as my brother, right?  
  
Maybe I should call him again, make sure he's not mad at me for this.  
  
At least he didn't have to post bail. Fifty thousand dollars. Cash. As much as he wanted to help I don't think my family's got that kind of money so whatever happened in court, I'm not going to complain. Of course I'm not safe out here either, but at least I'll have a chance to run if things get bad.  
  
I stop at the intersection, waiting for the 'walk' signal to cross the street.  
  
A kid holding his mother's hand smiles at me. He's clutching some kind of robot, moving his arm up and down as his hero flies through the air.  
  
I smile back. It reminds me of my comics collection.  
  
Man, I haven't thought about that in years. I wonder if mom still has them somewhere.  
  
Mo used to tease me about that. He's never believed in monsters, superheroes and things like that, said we had to fight our own battles ourselves, but I've always liked them.  
  
When things got bad at home, I used to hide in a corner and think Superman was gonna save me, take me and my brother away from there. How's that for stupid? Guess he was right about that too.  
  
The kid waves at me as I make my way through the traffic and across the street.  
  
Where to?  
  
Maybe I should go visit mom. She was so worried when she came to visit me in jail. I didn't want her to see me like that, but Mo said she'd been crying the whole time the night before so I guess she needed to see I was okay.  
  
I hate it when she's sad because of me. Makes me feel like I've failed her or something. She sure doesn't deserve me as a son, but I'm glad she's got Maurice to count on. He's her strength, always has been.  
  
Now that I'm free I wanna show them I can be a better person. Do something good with my life.  
  
Despite all the shit we've been through, I still got a family that cares about me. Dad, who's changed enough to get me an expensive lawyer. Mo, who still wants to be there for me even if I'm a screw-up. And mom, who's never stopped loving me, even for a minute.  
  
Maybe something good really came out of this mess. I brought my family together.  
  
I hope Mo's gonna keep his promise this time, 'cause I really want us to be close again. Hang out, maybe plan that trip to Atlantic City. Now that would be real fun.  
  
I raise my head and notice two guys walking towards me. One of them is smiling, like he knows me or something. I think I remember him. Dave. Dave 'crazy trigger' Romano. Yeah, that's him.  
  
We used to call him that 'cause... well, let's say when he had a job to do he never left any witnesses behind. We've worked together a couple times, but I haven't seen him around lately so I guess he's working for the competition now.  
  
The other man, I have no idea who he is.  
  
Dave nods at me. What the hell does he want? We've never been that close anyway.  
  
Before I realize what's going on I feel a gun pressed into my back.  
  
_Shit._  
  
I'm in trouble.

* * *

May 4th  
  
10:05am

* * *

He's free.  
  
Off on a stupid technicality.  
  
That son of a bitch Martin made me look like a fool in front of the DA, the judge and basically everyone inside that courtroom, and Mikey was released from jail.  
  
Why'd he tell me to wear my blues, my commendations and all if his plan was to prove that I didn't do my job like I was supposed to?  
  
Improper interrogation my ass. I went to the fort to help my brother, not to take a suspect in. That should've been Cruz's job.  
  
My gut was right about that man. I knew there was something else behind that 'some of us do have hearts' attitude.  
  
He even followed me out of the building with this big smile on his face, saying I'd been great. Great. Diane's probably not gonna trust me again, my brother's out on the streets somewhere, lying low so he can keep his part of the deal, and he calls it fantastic.  
  
No one seems to understand why I'm so upset. Even Faith questioned me about it. I told her if Mikey messed up one more time I'd kill him with my bare hands.  
  
Of course I didn't mean that. I'm just tired. Tired of picking up the pieces of the mess he creates every time he screws up.  
  
Ma's still upset over the whole situation and I'm the one who stays up all night to reassure her, the people I work with think my brother's a cop killer and barely talk to me, and Cruz is trying to squeeze as much info as she can out of him regardless of the consequences, giving me a hundred more reasons to worry about what might happen during my sleepless nights.  
  
I can't do this anymore. Man, I feel like I'm a hundred years old.  
  
I wish there was an easy way to sort this all out. I wish Mikey would solve his own problems by himself for once so I didn't have to carry the weight of everybody's fears and reactions on my shoulders.  
  
Truth is, he's my brother. I love him, and I can't stay mad at him. I mean, how could I?  
  
Despite the drugs and all he's been through, he's still the same good- natured kid he was when he was eight. How can I turn around and pretend he's not my blood?  
  
He can piss me off in less than ten seconds, but he can also make me smile.  
  
Like the other day in jail. One minute we're talking about like-and-death situations, and the next one he's asking me to go on a road trip.  
  
That's who he is, and that's why the idea of him being alone out there scares me. God knows what Cruz is up to. When she's on the hunt, there's no way of telling what she'll do or who'll get hurt in the process.  
  
I threatened to kill her if she hurt him. I will. I've never been more serious in all my life, and that goes for anyone who even lays a hand on him.  
  
Last time we talked, he said that it was better if we didn't see or talk to each other, that he needed to disappear at least for a while so I have no idea what he's doing right now.  
  
I just asked him to stay away from dad, to go find someplace else to crash, and gave him a new cell so he can call if he needs anything.  
  
He smiled at me, that genuine smile that makes you wonder how in hell he became a drug dealer, and told me he was gonna be fine.  
  
_Be careful, Mike. Wherever you are._  
  
God, I hope he's all right.

* * *

May 4th  
  
11:25am

* * *

I'm going to die.  
  
Doesn't matter how many times I swear I don't know what they're talking about or promise I'd do whatever they want. They're gonna kill me. And the funny thing is this time, it's not even my fault.  
  
I was right. Dave's a Monkey now. I saw the sticker on the back window of the car they forced me into. He must be pretty important too if they told him to take care of me. I've tried to ask what the hell is going on here, but apparently these people prefer to talk with their fists and I got no reply.  
  
I'm not even sure what they did to me 'cause thankfully I passed out a couple times. I do remember one of them coming at me with this big needle though, and the feel of it as it pierced my skin. Then came the shocks, the electricity coursing through my body so strong I thought my head was going to explode.  
  
Man, it hurts. I can barely keep my eyes open.  
  
At first I thought this was about drugs, about me ratting out most of these guys' friends. That was before I realized the situation is a lot more complicated than that.  
  
Dave said it's nothing personal. Like that's supposed to make me feel any better.  
  
He asked me if I knew who Mr. Mann is. Of course I do. Anyone who's been in my business for even one day knows about him. He told me that Mr. Mann's son was killed in a car accident, and that Maurice is responsible for that.  
  
They wanted to know about him, where he lives and stuff like that but I didn't say a word, and that of course pissed them off so bad they started torturing me.  
  
I remember one of them saying that they could leave me alone for all that mattered, that the boss already has a 'friend' inside the department so he'll know where to find him, but Dave told him that it's too late, they had to finish the job, and that my death would teach him not to mess with Mr. Mann's affairs.  
  
These guys are crazy.  
  
I don't believe what they're saying. They're killing me because of this? Even if it's true, Mo was just doing his job. This... this is totally wrong, and it won't help Mr. Mann get his son back.  
  
Okay, who am I kidding? This is how they work. This is the world I've been living in for years so it's only fair that I get to die in this hell hole, away from the people I love and now that I finally wanted to make things right.  
  
I hear laughter behind me, then the ring of a cell phone. Dave says everything's going according to the plan and that they're ready for phase two.  
  
Phase two. I don't even want to know what phase two is gonna be like. Phase one hurt me just fine. So fine that even breathing right now is an effort.  
  
As soon as the call ends, one of the guys starts to leave. He leans over and whispers something in my ear.  
  
'I'll see you in a few hours. A part of you anyway.'  
  
What the hell does that mean? What are these guys up to?  
  
I guess Mom's gonna have to pick out that box after all. I'm sorry to have to cause her more pain, but I can't do anything to stop this.  
  
Mo's gonna beat himself up over this like he always does. I wish there was a way to tell him that I don't blame him, that it's not his fault. If what happens to me will prevent him from getting hurt or worse, killed, then I'm okay with it.  
  
He's been the best brother I could've asked for. Saved my ass more times than I can count. This time, I'll be the one protecting him and not the other way around.  
  
I'm sorry I'll never get the chance to be a better person, to do all the things I wanted to do. Hopefully, they're going to remember me for the good stuff and not for all the stupid things I did.  
  
A noise draws my attention to the left and I turn my head slightly. Two of the guys are unfolding a plastic sheet on the floor.  
  
My heart starts to beat faster as I feel the end getting close.  
  
I held their gaze and swallow down hard. I won't give up. If I have to die, I want to look these bastards in the eyes and show them no fear. That's what Mo would do. I just hope they leave him alone now. One death is enough. Mom wouldn't survive losing us both.  
  
Dave walks up to me with a gun in his hand.  
  
It's time.  
  
I take one last, long breath.  
  
_God, please help me. I don't want to die._

* * *

May 5th  
  
9:05pm

* * *

He's dead.  
  
I stared at the body, what was left of it, and I didn't even know it was him. I took in the sight of how battered it was, and my first thought was that I was glad not to be in Sully and Davis' shoes and have to fill out all the paperwork that a case like this usually requires.  
  
I shook my head, turned around and drove back to the House like nothing had happened. Until... until they told me the dismembered torso was my brother's.  
  
Since then, that image is all I see every time I close my eyes. All the training in the world isn't enough to prepare you to see your kid brother's remains discarded into a garbage can on some anonymous street.  
  
I'll never forget Swersky's face. One look at him, and I realized what they were saying was true.  
  
I stood there, numb and disbelieving for a moment, and then reacted in the only way I always do: I lashed out. If that son of a bitch Martin wasn't behind bars I swear I'd have killed him with my bare hands. I needed to hurt someone, anyone, make them feel all the pain I was feeling.  
  
The next thing I remember is standing in Lieu's office as they explained what he'd probably been through. By the time I had all the details, I felt sick to my stomach and so dizzy I had to sit down to keep from falling. Now I knew what my brother's last moments had been like, the images flashing through my brain at a sickening pace. I wanted to stop them, to push them away but I couldn't. They've been forever seared into my head and I'll never be able to get them out.  
  
That's why I've come back where it all started: the place where we found him. Sitting on this sidewalk, thinking about the last time we've been together, about that trip to Atlantic City that we'll never be able to plan.  
  
_God, I'm sorry, Mike._  
  
I was supposed to protect you and I didn't do it. I asked you to let me be your brother and then couldn't save you from Cruz and those ecstasy dealers.  
  
The truth comes crashing down on me and there's no way to escape it: I failed him.  
  
I should go home but I can't bring myself to leave this place. What am I gonna tell Ma? That he's probably dead because he stroke a deal with the police that I knew was gonna end bad? I don't think she could take it. It was hard enough to explain what they did to him. I wanted to spare her the details but then she started to ask when she would be able to see him so I had to tell her, even if it broke my heart.  
  
Now all she can think about is that her baby's never coming home, that he has no head and that she's going to have to pick out the coffin for a closed-casket funeral 'cause there isn't enough left of her son for viewing.  
  
I bet dad's still with her. He showed up and played the grieving father like he's been there for us all along. I wish she'd realize we don't need him back in our lives. We'll get through this like we did in the past. Just me and her.  
  
I lean my back against the lamppost. A piece of yellow crime scene tape waves above my head. Besides that, you can barely tell something happened. It reminds me of that accident a couple years ago where four kids burned to death after their car exploded. Only this time, the victim is somebody I cared about.  
  
I still can't believe I'll never see him again.  
  
Yes, I got mad at him, but I knew he was always a phone call away. Nothing's ever gonna be the same without him.  
  
Mikey was no saint, but he was a good brother.  
  
Right after dad left, he used to sneak into bed with me almost every night. 'The monsters won't beat us if we're together,' he'd say. You were right, Mike. They won when they pulled us apart. The only thing I can do now is find who did this to you and make him pay, even if it kills me.  
  
And that's a promise.

* * *

_"Mo?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"The monsters... they're coming. Can I sleep in your bed tonight?"  
  
"Mike..."  
  
"Please. I'm afraid."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't have to be afraid. I won't let anyone hurt you."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course. We're a team, remember? We'll scare the monsters away."  
  
"Yeah! They won't beat us if we stick together, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Then promise me we'll always be together."  
  
"We will."  
  
"Promise."  
  
"What, you don't believe me?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, I do."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight."  
_  
THE END 


End file.
